I've Created A Monster.....

and I love her. It's my sister Hope. It was almost exactly a year ago that Jon and I were starting our adoption process. I was at her house for a visit and I exposed her to the world of adoption blogs. At that point I had found one - yes one, China adoption blog. Don't laugh, I was new to all of this. The blog belonged to a family that had just returned from China with their daughter. We sat at Hope's kitchen table, both with tears, and looked over the blog. The next morning Hope confessed that she stayed up very late the night before reading the entire thing. Anyway, her blog habit has progressed from there and I couldn't be happier. It's not about her reading the blogs, it's her involvement in this entire process. She doesn't even have to ask if there any updates because I swear she knows them before me. Don't get me wrong, all of our family and friends are nothing but supportive about the adoption. I am grateful for all of their support. They just haven't reached the obsessive status that Hope has reached - and I wouldn't recommend it either. In another few months, you will probably hear about her support group for "Sisters of Adoptive Parents".

Last month when referrals came out, I was down with bronchitis and didn't even get around to announcing the referrals. I mentioned that to my sister and she said "Oh, please I've seen every one of them." I asked her how (because clearly she must be dependent on me for all of her information. ) She says "I've seen them all on The Salsa Girl's blog." Yes, M3 you are "Salsa Girl" and trust me it is a term of endearment.

A couple of weeks ago, I was called her from whatever airport I was in and mentioned that I had been so busy I had not even checked in on the latest rumors. No problem, Hope knew exactly what they were. But here is the best part. If there is a good rumor, she gets all excited and tells me. If it's a bad rumor, she will say "Don't listen to that, it's just a rumor."

I've decided I can no longer watch all the rumors like I have been doing the last couple of months. It may help other people but for me it's just not healthy. I'm sort of an "all or nothing" type of person. I do not think certain rumor sites are bad. In fact, Hope will be the first one to tell you that she has learned so much about the process via the popular rumor site. I can use just about any acronym out there and Hope knows exactly what I am talking about. I also think the site does a good job of educating folks on issues such as the extension for the 171H.

However, with an LID of 3/14, we have a ways to go and I just can't do that to myself. This is also why I've been blogging and commenting less - I am afraid I'll get totally "sucked in." I'll still check on the rumors off and on (especially when referrals get close) and I am sure as we get closer to a referral, I'll be hitting refresh every five seconds. But for now, I am going to let Hope be my filter. I'll still be checking all my favorite blogs so I can celebrate each and every referral. But I am going to take a break from the "12 month, 18 month, 24 month" game. It's anybody's guess and no amount of speculation is going to change that fact. When I started this process, I decided to trust our agency and the process. As much as it hurts, I have to continue trusting.